Day #1 - Some Grief Leaked Out

Today I attended wonderful workshop involving art therapy for grief thanks to our local Hospice of Acadiana.   I loved it, but it was very emotional.  I didn't know we had to share our pictures and thoughts about our creative outlet with the group.  I actually told the leader I didn't want to share.  However, by the time the final person shared and we were all wiping our eyes, I asked the facilitator if she would read my thoughts.  It was so powerful and such a rush to finally shed some tears.  I had not done so since before the funeral which at the time of this post, was 9 days ago. 

My Dad will have passed from the physical plane 14 days on Wednesday.  Today was the first day I could cry.  There was something about hearing other people in the same pain that softened my heart enough to share mine.  I knew they could handle it because we were speaking the same language.  Like a person in a foriegn country who hugs that lone person who understands, "Where is the bathroom?"  It was the feeling of being allowed freedom of my intense, harsh, and powerful experiences and feelings.  I welcomed their experience as well.  I wanted everyone to keep sharing.  They were speaking fo me to, saying the thing I wanted to say but couldn't.  Their pain gave voice to mine at the same time.  I loved that the emotions bypassed all forms of being proper about how we should feel and worrying about what others think, managing *their* feelings and sensitivities.

I meet with  grief counselor tomorrow.  Before today I was going to cancel it, but now I can't wait to see what my grief journey has in store.  Whether it is a support group or journaling class I want to do it.  I see that the support I had during my Father' cancer was pefect.  I also see that the support I need to live in a new way going to be different.  They say the only way out is through.  I am grateful that today it is through tears, finally.  At long last, finally.

Even though we may feel alone, we are supported by many beings.