Here I was, seeing the flesh-and-blood results of the kind of parenting that my peers and I were trying to practice with our own kids, precisely so that they wouldn’t end up on a therapist’s couch one day. We were running ourselves ragged in a herculean effort to do right by our kids—yet what seemed like grown-up versions of them were sitting in our offices, saying they felt empty, confused, and anxious. Back in graduate school, the clinical focus had always been on how the lack of parental attunement affects the child. It never occurred to any of us to ask, what if the parents are too attuned? What happens to those kids?
Where is our security today? What is it we consider security? Is a strong sense of self the result of sheltering, feeding a child challenges and struggles that are carefully and cautiously tuned to their budding personalities and abilities? Do we equate an upset child as being ruined and scared for life?
As a Christian, it seems that we have a gold mine in answering these questions. You see, what most people fear is their child having scars. But what we forget is that Christ takes our scars and makes them stars. Okay, that sounds completely and utterly cheesy. In an attempt to sound more credible, I suggest that it is in the curve balls thrown at us that we learn where our security lies. If I don't get the job I wanted do I blame the employer for not seeing the benefits of having me on their staff? In turn, if someone is angry with me because I don't give them what they want do they have the right to slander me to anyone who will listen?
New International Version (NIV)
Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths.
In my daily prayer life I can bring God's daily portion directly to my needs. In this I find security for today and my tomorrows. My happiness and my disappointments are short-lived compared to the lasting peace I find when I realize there is a bigger plan that I cannot see. I don't know who holds tomorrow, but I know who holds my hand - and yours, too.