There was this bible study that kinda woke me up

It started one summer when I had to set some limits.  Some people weren't happy about it and talked really nasty about me.  It was one of the hardest tests of my professional and personal life.  I suddenly felt thrown into a raging fire with no water in sight.

One of my friends told me about this woman, Lysa TerKeurst, who wrote some cool things so I grabbed the audio to Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl.

And then.  Slowly.  Quietly.  I began to see some water. The water sounded like this.

There was a stark difference between religion as I understood it and what she called her relationship with God.

I want my beliefs to work no matter what life throws at me...My perspectives get skewed by my emotions.

No person, possession, profession, or position ever fills the cup of a wounded, empty heart.

Yeah, that was like the first chapter.  I was hooked.  I was in.  Tell me all about those people who need filling up!  Who needs some GOD and not religion!  AMEN SISTER.

And then, that morning, listening to the audio and taking steps on the dark road early in the morning I realized the Truth and began to cry.

I was the one who needed filling up.  I was the one who needed to release religion and run to God.  This book was about me.  Not them.  

Shortly after I bought the book so I could underline all of these poignant words.   A few weeks later, I purchased the DVD and every morning had some quiet time with me, God, the book, and the DVD.  Oh how I grew.  I just kept going deeper and deeper into myself and it suddenly became easier (not a cakewalk, just easier) to let others have their walk, too.  

Eventually, I led a study on it at my local church.  It was faithfully attended and the women all grew closer.  I believed in the message of this book and it was truly the turning point I needed in my own faith walk.

Fast forward seven months later and my Father passed away but not without another initiation of cruelty from those surrounding his death.  I can honestly tell you that the seeds planted in me from this book were the foundation for a spirituality I am proud to say WORKS!  It is a connection with God that cannot be broken.  It is strong, true, and it runs deep.

"We cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."  It was the overflow of their lives, and it became the routine of their lives.

All quotes from the book Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl  by Lysa Terkeurst

This post must have been meant to be because my son is still napping and I finished it!  Praises!

Why Am I Writing This Blog?

Today is my birthday.  I am 39 and pumped.  Since I was 30 years old I would admire women in their 40's.  Why?  Because those women who didn't give up on themselves, stayed true to their being, and evolved,  kick ass!  They are beautiful, graceful, loving, and set firm boundaries of self-care.  These women of whom I speak are less concerned with climbing the social and carrer ladder and more devoted about finding out why they are here and how they can be of service. 

I am writing this blog because I am becoming less afraid.  I am becoming the kind of woman I want to be.  I'm not all the way there, yet.  But my goal is to be 100% me to everyone I meet.  I will speak more of this in another post.  But for now, I just want to come out of the spiritual closet!

I am writing this blog because I am evolving.  As I do so, I feel compelled to share with the world these changes.  It helps me articulate what is in my head.  It gives voice to those who feel as I do but are afraid.

I am a natural teacher.  I teach music and it bring me great joy to do so.  It is a natural extension to share my learning with other on a blog.

I love to read and share my thoughts on books.  I love to do book reviews because it expands my awareness to others.  I enjoy reading book reviews and I hope mine are enjoyable and informative to read.

The world needs honest, positive, voices.  I see much condemnation, self-judgement, and low self-worth today.   It is my goal to share my thought and opinion with the light of love and self-respect. 

Standing In My Truth - In Love and Prayer

This week some students and I parted ways.  We did so amicably and I am grateful to God for this blessing.  Prayer in every words and action and sending love before is powerful.  God’s love heals, forgives, and strengthens us in our weakest moments. 

Without a doubt, the hardest aspect of teaching for me is when I see a child in stress or severe fatigue.  For years I thought that was how it was supposed to be, this was what it meant to rear children in today’s modern, fast-paced world so they could handle the challenges that come their way.  Then later as I dealt with my own issues of adrenal fatigue and lack of sleep it became very clear that this was not what God intended for the lives of our children or us.  Suddenly, the families I admired for their worldly successes, the mothers I compared myself to I did no longer.   Seeing in my own students the stresses and fatigues I dealt with myself seemed like cruelty now -  not a track to better and more successful living.  It seemed they were working harder, but not smarter although their test scores would prove me differently.  I started caring less about their test scores and more about their emotional well-being.  I was more concerned with finding inspiration , a smile, joy in their playing than where they went on vacations and their most recent GPA.  As I began caring about my own heart I started really seeing theirs.  The hard part was when I would explain my observations to their parents only to see them turn and find something else for their child to do. It is very easy to find teachers more than willing to take “successful” students so they were never far away from someone wanting them in their studio or on the team.

I realized by using words like “prayer”, “intuition,” and phrases like “I sense that” I was breaking the cardinal rule of teaching – becoming involved.  Since I had a personal studio, I began to responsibly own the power granted me to nurture those who were still finding joy or looking for joy,  in their playing.  I stopped being run by the machine in my own studio as I did in the corporate world.  I began to look within for my own truth about situations.  At first, I would look to older, more experienced teachers, not only for their mentoring, but for their approval.  I wanted to know what a good teacher and copy their formula – exactly, to the letter.  I forgot, along the way, to even consider that I already was a good teacher who just need polishing.  I was not someone with out inner guidance and the power to stand in my own philosophies about children and living.  I was afraid if my inner spirit influenced my teaching I would not have "successful" students.

One of my dear friends questions the system of why is it we as teachers are to be ranked as “good” for a child to receive high school credit in piano.  If the child does the work, does it matter how “good” the teacher is?  I loved the question and it has permeated into so many areas of my life.  If a student *really* loves piano, I could honestly know very little.  Sure, they would have some musical holes, but their passion - I firmly believe – would see them through and guide them to the right people along their way.  I know that is what happened to me. 

It is my responsibility with my own child to stay aware of what his life purpose is.  It is not for me to decide it, determine it,  or block it, just to nurture it.  How many parents really consider this?  Today I heard a podcast encouraging teaching children to meditate.  I’m sure none of my students meditate.  In fact, I need to be cautious of the word.

Letting a student leave for the right reasons only to see them continue with someone else for the wrong ones is difficult because I care.  However, to freeze it in time and give it a label is not fair to myself or them.  It only serves to inflate my ego and condemn their spirits.  I choose instead to honor myself, in that I spoke my truth in this situation instead of being intimidated.  I am grateful to God things were resolved peacefully and without conflict.  I continue to pray for the children and their parents as they maneuver through life. I was blessed to have them because they taught me just as I taught them.   We are all on a journey and this is theirs.  My goal in their life was completed and now very apparent – for them to know that joy and inspiration is important in life.  And so it is.

Book Review: The Power of Your Spirit

The Power of Your Spirit - Order Here!

Initial Impressions:

While we want to transform into spiritual beings, we fear the effort may be too complicated and the rewards not guaranteed.  So we learn  enough to talk about it, but stop short of experiencing it in the most direct way -- through a committed daily practice, because this is where "the rubber hits the road."

There is nothing like a good fussin':-) 

As a piano teacher, I can relate to someone who takes piano for a lengthy amount of time but doesn't get better because they do not have a daily practice at home.   I can imagine the same is true for psychics.  This, to me, is the foundation of this book - to get off our duffs and do the work.  The book divides into four sections - awakening, discovering, surrendering, and flowing,  Each section contains multiple stories with corresponding exercises and questions that are timeless.


Can you really create an authentic, Spirit-led life with daily practice?  Sonia says it will take "attention, discipline, and practice."   Lifestyle changes bring about real and lasting changes, not just isolated moments of the Divine.  She encourages us to center our daily lives with meditation, breathing, and looking within with journaling.  As a result, we can surrender to Spirit  "even when your truth makes you or those around you uncomfortable, unhappy, angry, or afraid?" Yeah - not easy if you aren't use it to it right?  Sonia does break it down in steps through this book.


I particularly appreciate the journal questions and breathing exercises.   These are questions you could go back and use every few months to reconnect to your Spiritual vital signs.   I kept wondering why she kept coming back to breathing and she did explain it!

As simplistic as it sounds, breathing is the only action that can interrupt and actually end the ego's game of fear and control.  You can reset your personal vibration to a more creative, empowered, and joyful level.

Sonia explains that Spirit is "best felt in silence."  This is an underscore of the important of moving from our head which wants to think and talk about spiritual things and moving into a much deeper place.  She gives ideas on how to connect to our Spirit during the day as well as reminders to be open to intuitive thoughts and ideas.    This really is such a wonderful how-to book that is great for beginners.  I think the stories will help beginners because they will see themselves in her client stories.  The journal and breathing exercises are wonderful for all because we can either forget the breathing techniques or it is time to ask the questions anew as we are move through stages of life.


Get out your tools!  We are building an altar!  To Sonia, the altar isn't about the exterior as it is about the interior.  I loved the description that it's similar to walking into a holy place - your energy and Spirit just respond!  What a beautiful space to create in your own home but "...if there's no holy inner work going on, though, the vibration of Spirit won't be present; and the portal won't open."  I wanted to give Sonia a big HIGH FIVE when she mentioned "becoming disconnected when our altars were moved out of our homes and into the churches."  I can't quote this entire chapter, but I would if I could.  It's my favorite!  It even includes things to do while at your altar to connect with your Spirit.  


The ego urges us  "to stay a step ahead of your fears."   I've been so many decisions based on fear, trying to maintain the status quo, please others, or simply from fear of failure and having lack.  That's a powerful sentence in this book.  The daily practice and journaling sections in this book are so rich and plentiful I feel I've had a workshop with Sonia herself.  This is absolutely a wonderful reference book that can be used at any time in one's life.  The questions and ideas presented her for immediate use will never become outdated, in my opinion.  The further I go in this book, the more I reap from it.  She recommends making these habits for 40 days.  This would be a *wonderful* book for a group study during Lent or any other time of year.  It would be wonderful to have a place for encouragement in our new practices as our egos flare up and say we are too busy.


I appreciate how Sonia makes it clear through different stories that it is either ego or Spirit running every aspect of our life.  As she simply states, "Unless we surrender, however, we cut ourselves off from our Divine power and burn out.  Then we're left to rise from the ashes and find our way back to Source once again.  In the end, there is no other place to go."  (emphasis mine)

The outdoor purple steps!  Click to order the book from Hay House

The final section of the book is Flowing with Your Spirit as opposed to "bullying" our way though life.  "The greatest challenge to staying in flow comes when you encounter "the ebb, which is any change, expected or unexpected, that leaves you threatened and insecure because you aren't sure what coming next."   Sonia says that ebbs are a "signal from our spirit to grow."   This section lovingly reminds that it is our purpose to move through these ebbs to reach higher places in our Spirit.  I hold to the thought Sonia shares,  "To flow is to believe that the Universe is always conspiring for our success as spiritual beings,..."  When in an ebb, it is okay to tell the Universe what we want, just leave it open how it will arrive!     As we deal with our own ebb and flow, we are reminded to be compassionate and loving toward others.  What a wonderful reminder as this book comes to a close.


This book prompted me to sit on my porch and watch the leaves fall and hear the birds sing, paint my garden steps purple, and weed my garden.  All things that nurture me and calm me during my busy moments of the day.  When my toddler was acting out, I felt this beautiful inner calm and didn't get rattled.  This book will be referred back by me for years to come.  

*Hay House sent me this book for my honest review*

Even as a parent, I don't decide God's annointing

I keep asking for wisdom from God because the wisdom I can understand and grasp changes.  It's not because God is holding back me some wisdom!  When reviewing the DVD session on David this morning I realized something I had not when I first viewed it.

So David, from the Bible, the guy who wrote many of the psalms?  The one, who with his guitar and probably flowing locks, changed worship in the temple in a radical way?  Well, did you know he grew up pretty humble?  I realized something today about little David.  He was *not* his father's favorite like Mr. Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat.  No, he didn't even make roll call when anointing king time came.  I think this is why his big brothers didn't throw him in a well.  I'll bet his brothers thought it was a big joke.  They likely assumed Saul (the annointing person) was just old and didn't know what he was doing.

I think David remained humble and repentant throughout his life because he wasn't raised to be puffed up.  Oh how I love this!  It goes to show that no one can stop what God wants to use!  As a parent, there is so much pressure to send your kid to this school, that church, hang around those people - not those, spend lots of money on them so they are afforded every extra curricular activity this side of heaven - of course!  But, look at the people God used!  I see affluent people spending THOUSANDS of dollars on their children in the hopes, in the prayer, that they get to play a little big of God by using their nepetism to launch them into jobs, careers, and high society status.  But then, along comes a kid from the projects, single parented, who goes to state college on government loans who proceeds to kick butt and take names.

I want a heart like David!  I want God to use me.  I want to trust God to ignite my paths ablaze.  Let me not be fooled into thinking I can buy or network myself  into man's graces.  It's a masquerade.

An easy life is not the goal, a peaceful life is

I am somehow coming undone this afternoon.  It feels I cannot get enough time and space to just breathe.  I have had a very busy, although fulfilling weekend.  I walked my husband through his baptism, visited a friend, had time to enjoy a nice breakfast and coffee, washed clothes, exercised - all those good and necessary things.  But somehow, the day went by so quickly and I feel like I need more.  I need more time. 

I know what the real culprit is.  I know what it draining my energy like a tiny hole in a bucket.  All my bible studying today doesn't want to fill me like usual.  I am bothered that there are people who are gossiping about me.  I am upset because although I am choosing to love in this situation, there is a part of me that wants to hold a press release and tell the real story, broadcasting it on the nightly news.  Man, I would feel so much better.

I took a free sample read of  Antagonists in the Church.  I guess I will have to buy the thing to figure how to deal with it, but so far they nail my gossipers on the head.  It's kind of uncanny how well personality types can be put in boxes.

I did a little reading in my Made to Crave book because when my wounded self comes out, the food wants to go in.This helped me get out of the kitchen.  I refuse to overeat.

This discussion by Father Robert Barron seems to be nailing it for me.  It's hard to be one of those real, live, Christians.  It's so warm and fuzzy when I can be there for a friend, when I can love those around me the way they deserve.  But then there are days like these when I can hear Jesus saying, "Are you sure you want to be a Christian?"  He brings us to Job where his suffering is based in God's permissive will.  I recognize that a  lack of prosperity, even emotional, is a way for God to "rightly order my soul."  It makes my life, "in a spiritual sense, joyful."  St. Thomas More, an important player in the court of Henry the 8th lost everything!  His home, his status, and in the end, his life.  However he was PROSPEROUS and understood the true treasures that come from heaven.!  Another scholar,  St. Thomas Aquanis would ask, "Why do wicked people seem to prosper?" Aquanis reaches to God's perspective.    The wicked person might even be punished by their prosperity which I will call today - a free pass to gossip with no seeming consequences for themselves.  Why?  The material things could take him away, or make it harder for him to understand the spiritual things.   It's worth a listen.

Note:  If you aren't Catholic, these names might be unfamiliar.  I'm not trying to say that St. Thomas More should have killed Protestants, but he died because he was not allowed to practice his faith in God and that boldness is inspiring.


In this I rest my head and move on with my day.  I move with a sense of enlightenment about pain and suffering.  In my weakness, God is made strong.  May the words of my mouth (public) and the meditations of my heart (private) by acceptable to God.

Community- I really don't like it but I get it.

The clear teaching of the New Testament is that the body of Christ is to be people deeply connected to each other, supporting each other, and filling each other's hearts.

                                               Friendship for Grown-Ups  by Lisa Whelchel


Community.  Yuck.  I rebel against it.  I don't want to need it.  Yet everyone time I turn around I read about it or it's the topic of the sermon on Sunday.   I know what evil things a community can dish out.  Sadly, I saw this in so many ways throughout my childhood, and later in adulthood. 

Our words become the mirror in which others see themselves

                                       The Power of a Woman's Words by Sharon Jaynes

My identity was not in Christ and what He did for me.  I had my arms and legs wrapped so tightly around the approval of others that their rejection just broke me in a thousand little pieces.  Their words were my daily portion.  And yet I somehow could not learn the healthy balance of needing community and needing approval.

God made us to need Him and each other.  We need God.  We need his Word.  We need each other.

                                                   Friendship for Grown-Ups  by Lisa Whelchel

When I was around someone who gossiped I took it as a personal challenge that I could be a person that was so wonderful, so good, so great, that they would never speak ill of me.  Geez, that is so ridiculous just typing it!  It's that same game that comes from movies where the hunky, jerky guy always falls for the awkward girl and he totally changes his ways.  I think that's giving we humans the power that belongs to God. Only God can rearrange our souls.  No one can to it for me nor I them.  So, how do I live in community with all these expectations?  With all these fears of judgement?

Grace.  And lots of it.

Grace is nothing more nor less than the face that love wears when it meets imperfection, weakness, failure, sin"

                                     Friendship for Grown-Ups  by Lisa Whelchel

I never thought of grace this way.  I need it not only for others, but when looking at my own faults and shortcomings.  The only one with enough grace to cover all of us is Jesus.  And so, daily I pray and work towards losing my dependance and slowly loosening my grip on the approval of others.  In doing so, I find the most glorious freedom through Christ.  This freedom is not the same as the freedom of my own "Hey who cares what anyone thinks because I'm me so take THAT!"  No, this freedom is knowing that God loves me the way I was, the way I am, and the way I will be.  He loves me more and he knows me best.  No human can out do that, it is just not possible.  

Revelation Song - Revelation Moment

I teach piano.  Although most of my students attend some kind of church, most of them have little to no interest in learning the music of their faith or even see themselves playing for church.  Although I don't mind, not all of us are meant for church playing, I can't help but remember how playing for the church was the only reason, the one thing, that made me want to learn to play piano.  My family saw no separation between what I played, including my ability to play, and the One for whom I played.  I never knew who ACDC was until I was in high school.  My days were filled with bible songs and going to singings.  My heroes were Debbie Van Huis of the Twin City Singers who could sing and play on an electric piano!  It was a red head named Katherine at Davis Crossing Baptist Church who could play by ear and read music with fingers as quick as lightening, never missing a beat as she yelled the key to the guitar players who scrambled to keep pace.  It was my Aunt Doris and Cousin Tammy, self-taught,  who showed me how to transpose keys if a song was too high.  These were my heroes and the only job description I wanted was the one that said "pianist" in the church bulletin.

This week I asked a student if there was a worship song she might like to learn.  She said "Revelation Song" by Kari Jobe was on her ipod.  She was hesitant because she knew some of those songs can be hard for her level.  She's a sixth grader.  I told her I had recently come to find more places to find music and I would look for a good arrangement.   I found a fantastic, simplistic, arrangement on Lifeway Worship for $1.49 and I grabbed it.  Well, it was actually free because for following them on twitter I received two free downloads.  Nice. I printed the piece and sent her home to go for it.

She came back to the next lesson with the entire song in nice sheet protectors and a new worship binder.  She had learned the piece and kind of blew me away.  While listening to her, I started crying!  I was almost embarrassed.  I mean, I was so caught off guard by the tears and my own reaction.

I have played for every religion you can name at least once and I can tell you with certainty that liturgical/church/worship musicians are becoming fewer and far between.  Even more, truly qualified musicians, you know the ones that can actually read music, know their theory, and can sight-read,  are even harder to find.  My colleagues and I scramble to fill in for one another on a Sunday just so we can have a break.  I'm sure you have heard that churches are in decline?  Well, the musicians of those churches are in a worse dilemma.

With this new found revelation, no pun intended, I am seeking God that those children, teens, and adults who feel the call of God will pursue it.  I pray they will look away from the American Idols and look to the God of the Universe.  I pray they will want to play the music the feeds their soul in the most genuine, lasting way.   I feel God leading me strongly in this area as now I'm ready to give back what was given to me by Kathrine, Debbie, and my family - the love of the music of God. 

My adult students have said sometimes they were too upset about something to practice.  I tell them, "Give me a hymn and I'll sing and play in the middle of many tears, allowing those waters of music filled with praises to soothe my soul."  Guess what?  It really does.  Music is a blessing to be shared.

Gossip, Type II

Detraction

(From Latin detrahere, to take away).
Detraction is the unjust damaging of another's good name by the revelation of some fault or crime of which that other is really guilty or at any rate is seriously believed to be guilty by the defamer.

 Oh boy, this is a tough one.  It's easy to rationalize my own opinions of something and keep them to myself.  But what if a person really did me wrong?  What if I really did catch my son stealing that cookie?  Or, what if I'm pretty sure he stole the cookie because he was the only one in the house!  All signs point to his guiltiness!   Don't I have a right to tell the other people who have cookies to beware?  That my son is a thief?  Hmmm...

Russ Rentler's Blog on Detraction says it so well:

What is the sin of detraction?

Detraction reveals something about another person that is true but harmful to that person’s reputation.
The fact that something is true does not justify its disclosure. We may not reveal another person’s secret faults or defects unless there is proportionate good involved.
Detraction is a sin against justice because it robs a person of his reputation. Each person has a strict right to his reputation, whether deserved or not.
Because detraction is a sin against justice, it requires reparation. The detractor must try to repair the damage to the victim’s reputation, and also to restore any temporal loss from the detraction, such as loss of employment or customers.

The Catechism teaches:(2477) Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them;

- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

As much as I would love to add some pithy, enlightened comments, I really can't.  I think this says it all.  

I will say that I find that anger seems to be when I, and most people, are most prone to the detraction gossip.  In other words someone has done some thing to me and I am fightin' mad!  So, what do I do with the anger?  I tell everyone who will listen, and then some, everything I can find wrong, a little wrong, big wrong, and maybe wrong about that person so they will be as angry as I am.   

I actually found out about the sin of detraction because I had a person come to me who was very upset that said child did not enter the private school of their choice.  This person was convinced, whether true or not I don't know, that it was a conspiracy by the staff of said school.  The anger spilled into detraction and information regarding staff was spilled onto the floor.  I just stared with my mouth agape.  How could I defend all these people?  How did I know if what she were saying was true?  I felt sorry for those she maligned, true or not.  This was when I looked up detraction and I think the posts mentioned here give us a very clear idea.

 My husband told me his Mom would give him this bit of wisdom before he left the house.  It was "Don't tell everything you know."

2 Kinds of Gossip - Type 2

I'm sensitive to gossip. Having been the gossiper and the gossiped I've developed a very bitter, sour taste for it. I like to really digest and dissect things so here is something I discovered about gossip.

There are two ways, although there may be more, to gossip. One is just spilling someone's personal business, their past, their personal life - you name it. You have some kind of access to this person's confidential file and you want to share it. The second way involves sharing your own private thoughts/judgements regarding a person. "Say, Susie Q is like the WORST dresser ever!" Now, it's only an opinion, but it's judgmental and inappropriate. Is it necessary? Kind? True? And you must answer yes to all three, not just the last one! Also, does it spur one another on to good deeds? Does it give encouragement to say it?

Today someone said the person leading music at their church had a horrible voice. What? I am a musician for Pete's sake! Does she not know that I have battle scars she can't see all over my body from people who make pithy comments such as those? Does she not know that my post-op wounds are still healing, still raw to the touch? Oh I wanted to yell, "Let's see you do it sista! At least somebody stepped up to the plate despite people like you!" And the worst part, in today's desperate need for Godly, church musicians, she is turning people off to even consider her church.

Calm down.

My response was that the church was blessed to have someone who offered to lead their music. It is hard to find people so let's not bash the ones we have. Okay, I didn't say the last part. I just mentioned that it's important to build the musicians up. So her response was, "Oh I do tell them!" LOL Well, it doesn't help if you tell them one thing and say another behind their back.

Breathe.

Here is the part where I can see slow, painful, growth in my character. At one time, I would have felt so flattered that this person would include me, overweight, not that cute, little old me, in her innermost thoughts about other people. She dothed me as Princess Special! Now I realize, if they will gossip to me, they will gossip about me. My specialness comes from God. My security in myself and acceptance is being a daughter of the Lord Most High! Yes, I want to be accepted among my peers, but not by disobeying God. To be accepted while following God's will for my life is the pinnacle, for me, of peace.

So I did it! I made it through round 1 of gossip in post-op condition! Take that devil!

Stay Tuned for Type 1!

Where is our security?

Here I was, seeing the flesh-and-blood results of the kind of parenting that my peers and I were trying to practice with our own kids, precisely so that they wouldn’t end up on a therapist’s couch one day. We were running ourselves ragged in a herculean effort to do right by our kids—yet what seemed like grown-up versions of them were sitting in our offices, saying they felt empty, confused, and anxious. Back in graduate school, the clinical focus had always been on how the lack of parental attunement affects the child. It never occurred to any of us to ask, what if the parents are too attuned? What happens to those kids?

Source

Where is our security today? What is it we consider security? Is a strong sense of self the result of sheltering, feeding a child challenges and struggles that are carefully and cautiously tuned to their budding personalities and abilities? Do we equate an upset child as being ruined and scared for life?

As a Christian, it seems that we have a gold mine in answering these questions. You see, what most people fear is their child having scars. But what we forget is that Christ takes our scars and makes them stars. Okay, that sounds completely and utterly cheesy. In an attempt to sound more credible, I suggest that it is in the curve balls thrown at us that we learn where our security lies. If I don't get the job I wanted do I blame the employer for not seeing the benefits of having me on their staff? In turn, if someone is angry with me because I don't give them what they want do they have the right to slander me to anyone who will listen?

Psalm 25:4

New International Version (NIV)

Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths.

In my daily prayer life I can bring God's daily portion directly to my needs. In this I find security for today and my tomorrows. My happiness and my disappointments are short-lived compared to the lasting peace I find when I realize there is a bigger plan that I cannot see. I don't know who holds tomorrow, but I know who holds my hand - and yours, too.